This is the First Day…

…Of the rest of your life. How many times have I heard that old, tired ‘cliché’? More times than I care to think about. But I’ve never really given it much thought until this week. As I hit the elliptical for cross-training on Tuesday I was watching Law & Order.

Over the murder victim was a sign that said “This is the first day of the rest of your life.” Lenny points out the sign and says ever so eloquently as only Lenny can…”Not for him.” And for some reason the actual meaning of the phrase came into focus for me.

This is the first day of the rest of my life. What happened yesterday…doesn’t matter. Here is a perfect example. I was out-of-town with work over the weekend. I had planned to stay right on track and hit my ‘goal’ weight this week. But somewhere between home and the beach that plan went right out the window. Instead I had a free for all with food.

I really don’t know why. I started out pretty well on Friday. Controlling portions…eating fruit…drinking water even made sure I got in an afternoon run. Then we had a buffet dinner on Friday. And it was downhill from there…

You know how it goes. You have one ‘bad’ meal and suddenly you start thinking it doesn’t matter what you do…might as well go whole hog (pun intended). And that is exactly what I did…on Saturday and Sunday. I didn’t track points…or even log what I was eating. Which should have been my first indication that I was off the wagon…LOL! If I don’t want to track it…I probably shouldn’t eat it.

But suffice it to say that it was WAY more than I should have been eating. And I knew it. I’m talking I ate all of my daily points, all of my activity points (I did run almost 9 miles on Saturday), my weekly allowance…and then some. And today it showed…instead of hitting my goal I went in the other direction. I gained 1.6 pounds. No doubt the two runs I managed during the weekend saved it from being any worse.

So do I throw in the towel and say forget about it? I don’t think so. Why? Because today is the first day of my life. What I did over the weekend is done. I can’t change it. But I can learn from it…and I do not have to repeat it. I can move forward from here.

So, I’m leaving the debacle of the weekend right where it needs to be…in the past. And I’m looking forward. I’m focusing on what I can do today to reach my goals…manage my calorie intake, workout but most importantly be aware of those little demons that tell me to go ahead eat the brownie…you’ve blown it anyway…you already gained 2 pounds…it won’t matter… go ahead…eat it.

Well, it does matter. But for the record Fuddrucker’s has the best brownies on the planet…and I did enjoy that indulgence. Sad part is that the brownie was the only indulgence I did actually enjoy. That is worth thinking about the next time I’m out of town (or wanting an extra treat.) Find that one ‘indulgence’ I really want…splurge on it…enjoy it…and leave the rest of it on the table.

But the next time I have a ‘bad’ meal (or even a ‘bad’ day) I won’t carry it over to the next meal…day…weekend…week. I’ll take the lesson from it, set it down and leave it in the past.

From this moment on…this is the first day of my life. I’ll have other setbacks. I’ll hit other roadblocks. But each new day brings a chance to change the course. To alter the path…and If I’m going in the wrong direction I can make a U-turn. My next decision doesn’t have to be influenced by my last decision…

This is the first day of the rest of my life. Until next time, hope you leave your past in the past. Remember this is the first day of the rest of your life.

To Race or Not To Race…

I was looking forward to a fairly active race season for the fall. I knew which races I wanted to run…what I wanted to achieve.  And I started planning…

A 10k in September…a 10k and 12k in October…marathon and 10k in November…and December was left open. But I was considering a half-marathon although I will admit only half-heartedly… 

But you know what came right after planning. Yep. Deviating.  When I started comparing my marathon training schedule with the race dates I realized I had a problem. All of my races fall on long-run dates…and I mean LONG runs. Like the 10k in October is same day as my 18-miler…the 12k is the same day as my last long run – 20 miles – before tapering begins. 

So, how do I make that work?  I can hardly substitute an 18-mile run with a 6.2 mile run…not even 6.2 miles at race pace.  I was left with very few options.   

I could run the races and then finish the remaining mileage after I cross the finish line.  Well, I’ve tried that before and didn’t have much success.  Not sure I want to risk it again…

Run the races…scrap the rest of the mileage and hope for the best.  And that will probably mean failure (or at least serious pain marathon day). Not sure I’m interested in that either…

Scrap the planned races and focus on the marathon.  So to race or not to race is the question.  And I think the answer is obvious…not to race. I’m going to focus on the marathon. 

And I’m already refocusing…and looking ahead.  If this marathon goes well then I may tackle that half-marathon in December…assuming it isn’t full and it probably will be by then.  But I will definitely tackle a half-marathon in January and another marathon in March. 

I’ve looked at when I would need to restart training for another marathon in March and it is doable.  It allows a suitable recovery period, it works with my marathon training plan and what Jenny Hadfield recommends for running four marathons a year without getting hurt: http://askcoachjenny.runnersworld.com/2011/02/how-to-run-four-marathons-a-year-and-not-get-hurt.html

And the half-marathon date…yeah, I checked.  It works too.  No mileage conflicts…LOL!  It’s like a 10-mile day.  I can handle that… So, I have a new plan. And yes, I totally expect to deviate.  But right now…the November marathon is in my sights…and that is my focus. 

I’m looking forward to it.  It should be fun. Yeah…26.2 miles…fun. Well, it will be something close to fun…LOL! And I’ll try to do a better job of posting and updating the blog. Been pretty slack lately…but I’ll work on it.  Until next time, no matter what your goal I hope you keep planning…keep deviating…until you reach your goal. Remember it is all about the journey not the destination…

Never Say Never…

One would think that I would have learned this lesson by now.  How many times did I say I will never run a marathon? Well, guess how that worked out for me?  Ran my first last year and hoping to run two this year. Which is certainly not a bad thing but never say never…

 I’ve also said I’ll never do a triathlon.  I will run but don’t expect me to swim and bike first.  And what am I hoping to do this year? My first triathlon.  No Ironman or anything at that level…just a sprint or Olympic distance but still the desire/dream is there.  Never say never…

But apparently the lesson still hasn’t taken.  So I had to take a refresher course this week.  I’ve said I’ll never join Weight Watchers (or any other weight loss group…I don’t discriminate… ).  I don’t want to have to consider the point value of everything I eat or drink.  I don’t want to be one of those people talking about points this and points that.  I can do this by myself. 

But even with training for a marathon and eating right (or so I thought) I gained over 20 pounds last year.  Granted some of that is attributed to changing my birth control medicine.  But even after being off that for over 3 months the scale isn’t budging.  

Clearly, doing this by myself isn’t working.  I’m doing something wrong.  And even though I hate asking for help (which is helpful sometimes…others it’s just an obstacle) I decided that maybe Weight Watcher’s could help. It couldn’t possibly hurt, right? So, on Tuesday I finally I went with a friend to a Weight Watcher’s meeting.  Albeit, kicking and screaming the whole way…

As an aside, my friend was kind enough to not remind me that I said I will never join Weight Watcher’s when she joined last May.  And for that I am very thankful.  She’s lost over 20 pounds and looks FABULOUS…the witch… (Love ya Tink19). 

But grudgingly I went.  Muttering under my breath I stepped on the scale…WTF? Is this thing broken? OMG!! Where did that number come from?   And then they tell me I get 29 points per day.  At that precise moment, that doesn’t mean much.  I don’t have a clue about each food’s point value. 

But I’ll learn.  I sit cursing to myself as I learned about the new PointsPlus program. Why couldn’t I do this by myself?  I don’t need help with this.  What kind of idiot am I that I can’t just figure out how to eat?  God, I’m such a failure.  Good grief…

Now we all know where these thoughts come from.  My best ‘frenemy’ Critical Cybil.  I don’t think these things about other people who join Weight Watchers.  I don’t think they’re idiots or failures.  I think it is awesome.  They’re learning to eat healthy.  They’re losing weight…they’re making positive lifestyle changes.  So, why do I think this about myself?

Well, that is complicated and probably can’t be addressed in a blog post.  But in short, I am very independent and want to do everything for myself.  I don’t like to depend on other people.  It’s not safe.  At least that is what I’ve learned from past experiences.

Unfortunately, this means that I have a hard time…no, it is virtually impossible for me to ask for help.  I depend on almost no one.  As a result, I’ve become very isolated with limited friends. And that is something I have to work on this year as well – opening myself back up to the world…not being so isolated and for lack of a better word – closed off.  But my fear of being disappointed and hurt again is making that quite the challenge.  But it is a challenge I must accept.  A challenge I must conquer. 

And joining Weight Watcher’s was a huge step in that direction.  And I was listening during the meeting (and not to Critical Cybil) but to the new PointsPlus program.  It made sense.  And honestly, I’m glad that I joined now because I think the PointsPlus program is going to work best for me.  I think it is healthier because it calculates points based on how our bodies process food.  It looks at the whole picture. 

My first day of counting points was Wednesday.  And pretty quickly I learned several things.  One…I finally get why I wasn’t losing weight.  I must have been consuming 60-70 points a day…at least.  Good grief… When I started looking at the point values of foods I routinely eat…and the activity points I’ll be earning I realized that I was completely off-balance. 

What an eye-opening experience that was.  I mean for example on Saturday I’m going to run 16 miles which at my snail pace will take at least 3 hours.  I earn 5 points per hour of moderate activity (I’m calculating all of my points based on moderate activity – which is conservative but when you’re trying to lose weight conservative is good).  So, I’ll earn 15 activity points. 

But quite often after a long run I was eating like I had free reign.  And to put it bluntly the points weren’t adding up anywhere but the scale.  DOH!!  And it seems so simple now that I have a number value for it all but somehow it wasn’t before.

I also realized that it was rather silly – well, maybe stubborn is a better word – to be so opposed to counting points.  I mean let’s be real…everything we eat or drink has a value.  Whether you count calories, fat, carbs, protein…or some combination of those.  For example, Weight Watcher’s calculates its PointsPlus based on four numbers: fat, carbs, fiber and protein. 

But no matter what you count you have to assign some value to your intake.  And exercise has a value…calories burned.  And simply burning calories doesn’t give me a get out of being fat free card.  It’s not that simple.  If it were that simple, we’d all be at our ideal weight. 

Without consciously realizing it my thought process was – I ran 10 miles today so I can have the cheeseburger and fries, the ice cream and I’ll have the cookie too AND I’ll lose weight.  Don’t I wish.  But without realizing it I wasn’ t actually monitoring or ‘calculating’ any sort of intake vs. output.  Hence the problem. 

And with only 29 points per day…believe me I treasure every point.  Suddenly, I’ve become one of those people that considers the point value of every food.  I’m talking about points this and points that. 

I feel like a walking V-8 commercial. You know the one where the people have their daily intake of vegetables over their head…but in this case every food has a little box with its point value hanging over it.  Like the red velvet cake sitting in our department that I walk by 50 times a day…that point value won’t even fit in the box…   So, I just keep walking by. 

I’m learning how to make better choices.  In the first day of counting points alone, I realized that sometimes what I thought was healthy isn’t.  For example, for lunch I would often have a turkey sandwich on whole wheat with a bowl of soup (usually Healthy Choice or Campbell’s Healthy Request – or something that sounded healthy).  Well, on Wednesday I started making my lunch – with my Complete Food Companion in hand.  I know dorky right?

But I have to look up the point value of each item.  The sandwich was 6.5 points. Well, that wasn’t so bad.  My little guide suggests 8 points for lunch…now the soup.  6 points.  6 POINTS!?! This soup was NOT that good but I have to eat lunch.  I’m now at 12.5 for lunch…17.5 for the day and that left me 11.5 points for the rest of the day. 

I had a 9-point dinner but with my 4-point almond snack I was over the 29-point limit for the day.  Fortunately, I earned four activity points and of course I have my 49 ‘allowance’ points that I can use anytime during the week.  So, I ended the day on the plus-side but it was eye-opening. 

I made some adjustments for the next day.  My lunch was a turkey sandwich on 7-grain flat bread with carrots and spinach and artichoke hummus.  Total 6.5 points.  Whew…  That means I could have a healthy snack in the afternoon before I went to run.  And I had more points for dinner (which was good since I was hungry from running… )

It’s a learning process.  I can’t wait to get my PointsPlus calculator so I can just punch in the numbers and get a point value.  Will probably be easier than dragging around this Complete Food Companion.  And no doubt over time I will learn the point values of most foods.  I’ll be able to make better, healthier choices…and still have my cheeseburger & fries with ice cream OR cookie every once in a while. 

So, here I am.  A member of Weight Watchers.  Now, I’ve joined the crowd.  I’m learning how to eat healthy…how to manage my intake vs. output… I’m making positive lifestyle changes.  I’m confident that I will lose weight with this program. 

And when I get to my ideal weight (no idea what that number may be) I will have new, healthier habits in place to help me keep the weight off which will be a first in my life.  Yeah, it certainly isn’t a bad thing.  But never say never. 

Maybe the lesson will stick this time.  If not, I’m getting used to eating crow…   Wonder how many points that is…LOL!! Until next time, hope you’re not underestimating yourself.  Never say never! You can do the ImPossible!!